a word that twists the life of the person with whom it is associated just like a deep swamp with no end in sight.
No one wears this name on her head by her own will. No one wants to bring light into her life with this name.
I too did not choose this. I too had dreams, i too wanted to become someone's sister, someone's wife, someone's mother but.....
This tag chose me and penetrated deeply into my soul. And engraved in my veins like blood
Black blood ...
I never thought I would ever get out of this air.
Like everyone else, I too thought that I would take my first and last breath in this poisonous air.
But maybe my fate is different because he has pulled me out of this quagmire and not only that, he has also polished me.
The scent of roses and sandalwood lingers as i fasten the final jewel into my hair. The red bridal lehenga cascades around me like molten silk, shimmering under the glow of a dozen oil lamps. I barely recognize the woman in the mirror-no longer a courtesan, no longer a woman sold for a price, but a bride.
His bride.
My fingers drift to my swollen belly. A miracle. Proof that love, no matter how forbidden, had taken root in my cursed life. An alone tear slides down my cheek but I am overwhelmed to believe if it is a sign of my happiness or disbelief of the beginning of my new journey.
"Your father changed everything, my baby. He saw me- not as the world does but as I have always longed to be seen. He saved me, he saved us" i whisper to the life within me.
A sharp kick answers me, strong and certain. A laugh bubbles in my throat, trembling with disbelief. You are happy too, aren't you?
I cradle the curve of my belly, letting myself believe-just this once-that happiness is mine to claim. That tonight, my world will shift, not in tragedy, but in love.
For years, i danced and served myself for men who never truly saw me as a woman but as a symbol of lust. But tonight, i will walk toward the only man who ever did. The world may sneer at my past, but love has rewritten my fate.
"He gave me a name beyond 'tawaif.' He gave me a future."
Tonight, that future begins.
I leave my room "humara raazdaar" by holding the hands of my Amma..
"Humari Mamoni"
I move through the corridors of the kotha one last time, the echoes of music and laughter fading behind me. I am no longer one of them. I am a bride now, stepping into the world as a woman reborn.
The air hums with anticipation as i descend the grand staircase, the weight of my anklets ringing softly, a melody of change. I imagine his gaze finding me through the night, his hands reaching, his lips murmuring my name like a promise.With each slow step down the grand staircase, I cling to that belief.
But as i reach the courtyard, the air thickens, the night turning heavy with something rancid. My heart stammers. The scent of roses and incense lingers, but beneath it, the unmistakable stench of burning wood.
Then I see it.
The wedding pavilion, where i was meant to take my vows, is ablaze. Flames twist around the wooden pillars, devouring the sacred space where my life was to begin anew. Smoke curls into the night, carrying with it the ashes of my dreams.
My breath shatters.
My eyes searching for him-
And there, standing before the fire, is him.
My beloved. My savior. My groom.
My "Jay"
Father of my miracle baby.
But he does not rush to me, does not reach for me. He stands amidst a circle of men, their faces painted with knowing smirks, their laughter crackling louder than the fire.
My pulse slows.
He doesn't move toward me.
He doesn't say my name.
He only watches.
A single step forward feels like sinking into quicksand. No. This isn't right. This isn't real.
Why does he not move toward me? Why doesn't he reach for my hand? Why does he only watch?
Confusion grips my chest, then dreads
I want to call out to him, but the words die in my throat. Because deep down, somewhere in a place where fear and truth collide, i know-
This was never a wedding.
This was a gathering.
And i... i was not a bride.
I was never his bride.
I was never his love.
I was only his investment.
I.....I can never be a bride.
I will always remain as a "Tawaif"........?
"Aap humse humari zindagi mangte to hum khushi-khushi aapko dedete,
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